I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
