she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
