I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
