You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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