At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
