Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
that's an acceptable place to lick
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
