I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
