didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
