oh god the rape fog is back!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
