The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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