alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
