I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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