U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
