fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
