End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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