I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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