i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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