the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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