you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
