i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize