I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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