there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
