I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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