Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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