yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
