white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
