Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
