I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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