Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
