the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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