You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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