what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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