I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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