You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
