Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
