She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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