i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
