i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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