I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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