when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize