after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize