I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize