totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We have started to decorate penises.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
