Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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