Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize