my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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