I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
