So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think my fart just growled at me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i believe in u and ur pee
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
