Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
