I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
