why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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