hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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