when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
