i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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