you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
