I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
