I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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