honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
