We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
