I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
